Leave Your Sanity With the Nearest Customs Agent

Got an email from Davi today and Rhi is going to have to be on bed rest for the next 14 weeks. Which is going to be really hard for Rhi, but I know she can do it. Went to see the Pimp tonight and he is feeling a little better. He at least looks more like his normal self tonight than he did last week or even last night. Tomorrow he finds out exactly what is going on and the doctors will have a better idea of what to do. Thank you all for the good thoughts and wishes. They are working so keep them coming.

Well, made it to Ilan just fine on Saturday after getting the ticket thing straightened out. Actually had to call one of my roommates to tell the lady at the train station to just give me the ticket, that I didn't need a seat. I got to Ilan about 1pm on Saturday. So that afternoon we went to the Ilan winery museum, the old Ilan city office building, and the Museum of Traditional Arts. The old city office is actually a Japanese house. Before KMT took over Taiwan (which was during the Cultural Revolution in China) Taiwan was occupied by Japan. So there are plenty of remnants of the Japanese occupation included houses. It had bamboo mat floors, sliding doors, garden, and plenty of other traditional Japanese elements. It was nice, just wish I had more time to look around.

Feeling rather blah and down in the mouth right now because of everything that is going on. So more on Ilan and more about knitting as life and work take a break. Actually feeling kind of homesick right now because I feel like I should be there for Davi and Rhi and instead I am here in Taiwan. As much as I love traveling and living overseas, it is moments like this when I wish I didn't have this particular addiction. (Traveling really is an addiction, an expensive one at that too. But I love it and can't believe how much is out there to see) Because of all of this, I have probably spent and excessive amount of time at the hospital with the Pimp. He is the only person I can check up on and it gives me some sense of control over uncontrollable situations.  Even if it is a false sense of control and makes me feel like I am helping out.

What I don't think the Pimp understands is what a loop he has thrown my life for. I wasn't planning or even really wanting to have these feelings for someone while I was in Taiwan. Was going to wait to start with the whole relationship/dating thing until I get back to the States. But here he is and I have all these feelings and I am not sure what to do with them. A little background about when I lived in Scotland. There was this guy that was one of my house mates in Edinburgh. My feeling for him are as strong as my feeling for the Pimp. The difference is that I never told this guy how I felt because I thought that keeping him as my friend was better than telling him the truth and possibly losing him from my life forever. So this time around, I am trying to make a different set of mistakes, one of the main reason I told the Pimp how I feel about him. But I don't think he completely gets how strong my feelings are. Which is partly my fault because I have problems communicating effectively. And half the time I am not even sure how to read the Pimp or what to do or even what to say. At a complete loss, really. Like the past two nights. Last night we just talked and talked and he even walked me to the subway station. Today, another co-worker showed up and I felt like I was put on the back burner. Granted the Pimp and this co-worker have done plays and other stuff together, so obviously they know each other better. I just need to listen to my brain more and the rest of me less. At least attempting to type this all out has helped me to feel better.